I have wrote about surviving my stroke in the past; so for many of you, that part is not new. For those that did not know, I survived a stroke at the end of 2014. It wasn’t my first dangerous health encounter…in fact, for those that knew me personally at the time they would tease me that I must have been a cat because they felt I had nine lives when it came to my health. Not that I didn’t take care of myself – in fact I was always in shape and my primary doctor was actually my OBGYN prior to my stroke because I didn’t see a doctor for common issues or even getting a cold for that matter. The truth was, I would joke that I didn’t have time to get sick. Which was actually true. I was a wife, a mother of 3, a business owner, a government liaison for my State, a local community leader and an active philanthropist. I never missed a recital, a competition, I coached my kids’ soccer teams; even if it meant running onto the field in high heels because I was coming straight from a board meeting. So, when I did go in to see my doctor; I went BIG – no holds barred. My poor OBGYN would warn me that he thought I had “Wonder Woman” syndrome and that I needed to stop trying to do it all, including saving the planet. My response to him though: “I don’t have time, so just make my body work for me.” And they did. At times, I felt like Elvis – taking “downers” to slow my brain down at night just to get some sleep and “uppers” for the energy I needed during the day. All legal and prescribed…(okay sounds like Elvis too, haha)
But despite run-ins with the occasional cysts, internal bleeding surgery, battling meningitis, an emergency hysterectomy, or emergency appendectomy; the chest pressure I had gone into the ER for just months before my stroke was brushed off as “heartburn or stress.” Because I was so active and I didn’t check the usual boxes or list of a person “at-risk” for a stroke; it was missed. I had always had good blood pressure, worked out five times a week, ate healthy; so they deemed it “stress.” I never felt stressed though, so the day of my stroke I pushed and called my doctor and drove myself to the ER. My first memories were waking up with my Neurologist looking over my bedside asking me to read off a list of words. Only I then felt tears running down my face as I realized I could not speak the list and the entire right side of my body was immobile. It was then he told me, that they believe I had suffered a stroke.
The months and year to follow continued to be a very challenging time for myself and especially my family. I think it was the hardest on them because if you have ever had to watch someone you love suffer and feel helpless, then you know why I say it was harder on them than it was on me. My children, as young as they were, definitely didn’t need to see their mother “code.” No child should ever have to; regardless of age. But it wouldn’t get better. More unknowns and more unanswered prayers. How can you prevent something from happening again if you don’t know what caused it to begin with? And for someone like myself, who was usually the one in charge; it was even more difficult as I felt completely hopeless and lost as more and more of my ‘autonomic’ systems in my body encountered issues. Briefly, for those that may not be used to that term; autonomic simply means all of your automatic systems in your body that we take for granted everyday; like your heart beating, your blood pressure regulating, your nervous system, your GI system that lets you eat and absorb your nutrients that your body needs…you know the basics that work for you without you needing to tell them to. So I had gone from 180 mph living life, traveling, serving my community, family, and friends to a 100% halt, overnight. Doctors were trying what they could but the outlook was grim.
Jump ahead 5 years now and I wish I could give you a recovery success story but I can’t. Within the last year my health continued to go downhill and become even more unpredictable than before. Each day I am grateful for another day but I also know it is another day to battle for myself. Battle for those littlest things I mentioned that most take for granted. Never being able to make plans because I didn’t know if my body would cooperate and if it did – for how long it would and at what expense I would pay for it in the days to come.
But – why am I complaining, right? After all, why am I not dead yet? I should have been gone four years ago already according to my specialists. Well, I guess like everyone else time seemed to continue on, in just a new type of normalcy. Until just over a month ago, at a follow-up visit, my doctor officially confirmed that there was not an autonomic system left in my body that had not been affected now. As I mentioned, I had already felt that over the last year but when your docs confirm your fear – well, it makes it more real. Of course, they did tell me to hang onto “hope” – a word I do not like and if you ever sat through one of my seminars in my former life – you know why. But that was also all before COVID-19 lockdowns started.
Which brings me to now and my challenge to all that watch my video and the videos that will come from others after me. For my video; I need to demonstrate a few things.
- There are anywhere from 3 – 26 million Americans and an estimated 15% around the world that live with invisible disabilities. Invisible, because from the outside – like myself – they may look healthy. And those either with COVID-19 OR those A-symptomatic could also “look” okay from the outside. So, I challenge you to try to remember this going forward.
- Those feeling ‘trapped’ in quarantine – well – without being too rude, you now get just a glimpse of what those millions of people, including myself, live most of their days like. For me, life being turned upside down and coming to a complete halt happened at the end of 2014 – for others around the world maybe COVID-19 has interrupted your life or made it come to a complete halt. So, again, I challenge you to try to remember these days well after COVID-19 goes away because for some, the halt or the change to their lives never goes away.
- Although, like many, I was already at a higher risk for COVID – I have now, officially checked the boxes of symptoms of COVID. YES, my doctors know and YES they have asked me to go in. But not because of the mild symptoms because with my general health those mild symptoms could be anything. They have asked me to go in because my oxygen levels are not currently stable. My chest now hurts 100% of the time; worsening as the day progresses – hurting to talk, hurting to cough, hurting to just breathe. But I have asked to self-quarantine in my bedroom for the suggested 7 days – now the verdict from my specialist on if I can will come later today. But why would I want to stay home, some may be asking…if you don’t know – many states do not have enough beds, or ventilators, and NO ONE is allowed to be by you. So, if my symptoms or oxygen stability worsens then I won’t have a choice but for now, I can at least hear my family around the house and know that I am not 150% alone versus in the hospital I would not only be exposed to COVID if I don’t have it and my symptoms are just my on-going health issues but I am also keeping my family safe by not being by them. They have gone through enough as I mentioned initially – they don’t need to wonder each day how their mom is when they would have no ability to communicate with me.
So, then what are my challenges to you despite what I have hopefully shed some light on for you? In other words, again, STOP complaining about staying home and be more sensitive to the millions around the world that feel alone everyday or are battling invisibly everyday with something….
I want you to challenge COVID-19. Challenge and FIGHT COVID like you would anything or anyone trying to invade your life in a negative way. I want you to FIGHT back with inspiration and positivity. If you can recall the ALS ice bucket challenge a couple years ago think of this challenge like that. Whether you include ice or not will be up to you.
The directions are simple:
- make a video – like I have done; yours doesn’t have to be as long but it can be
- share your video and tag as many people as you can to accept the challenge
- make sure to hashtag #IChallengeCOVID so that anyone and everyone can watch from around the world as well as continue the challenge around the world – let this challenge become even more viral than COVID has
- simply include at least three things you are doing to challenge COVID, or three things you have learned to be more grateful for in life during this time of COVID, or three things you can do now that you didn’t have time to do before COVID, BUT at least three things that MUST be positive or inspiring 🙂
This is not the time to blame or complain; it is the time to write, to FIGHT, to challenge COVID together. COVID has brought my family even closure by letting them experience walking in my shoes and not taking for granted all the little things in life. So, now that I am in self-quarantine, I pray you join me and I pray these ideas are inspirational or uplifting to you as I start the #IChallengeCOVID video series.
- I tease that I need to be known for more than just what Wikipedia has on me; so I plan to finish the book I started writing before I had my stroke that was based on my seminars and teaching about the power of the unconscious mind.
- I have learned to apply my own lash extensions and have ordered all of the tools to do my own nails – don’t worry ladies your stylists will not be upset because I am confident you will go back to paying them to do them for you…but I have discovered just how helpful beauty tutorials are during this time.
- I am going to get back to blogging and writing more to post on my website…for my own self care. Writing was always a great outlet for me and just because it is not as easy as it once was for me, shouldn’t stop me from doing it when I can.
- I am going to virtually watch comedies and inspirational movies with my family. Laughter truly is the best medicine! Some of my favorites lately have been MTV’s “Ridiculousness,” “The Upside” with Kevin Hart, and of course a shout-out to my friends and an incredible cast in “The 60 Yard Line” which you can watch on Amazon Prime.
- I am going to reach out to those incredible cast mates and directors of “The 60 Yard Line” and brainstorm, if they are willing, a tell-all style movie about the financial crisis and my personal witness accounts of what happens behind closed doors that lenders would never want the public to know about….
- Finally, I am going to continue to read inspiration! Some of my suggestions for this are:
- A Cup of Comfort for Inspiration – daily uplifting stories
- But You LOOK Good – further insight to what those battling invisible disabilities go through and how to empathize better
- Something Beautiful is Going to Happen – the incredible story of former Miss Wisconsin USA and a beautiful friend, Melissa Young
- Basic B!tch – another incredible and former Mrs. International sister queen of mine – inspiring others through her own journey of embracing who she is and sharing it with the world
- My go – to the Bible – and yes, I am “a Luke,” for those that watched Eastern Hills online service last weekend at EHills.org
#IChallengeCOVID – Your turn