There are many reasons why people use the metaphor, “it’s all in your head.” One of the most common uses are when someone is feeling insecure in a relationship and potentially suspecting their partner being unfaithful. Their partner or even friends and family may tell them, ‘it’s all in your head.’ Another common use is when someone is not feeling well or feeling ill and they are told, ‘it’s all in your head.’ 

Either of these reasons tend to put the person on edge or to become upset; feeling as though their concerns are being dismissed or belittled.

Some walk around in their day to day lives feeling invisible to those around them. Again, this only causes additional insecurity, belittlement, and ultimately they, too, may begin to question themselves. Their self-confidence is affected, their relationship with friends, family, and partners start to feel the strain and distance of them pulling away.

A simple hello or an ear to sincerely listen to those around us may not be a permanent fix to these underlining concerns but it is definitely a start.

An invisible disability, or hidden disability, is defined as a disability that is not immediately apparent. Some people with visual or auditory disabilities who do not wear glasses or hearing aids, or may wear discreet hearing aids, may not be obviously disabled to those that do not know them personally. Some people who have vision loss may wear contacts. 10% of Americans have a medical condition which could be considered an invisible disability. Nearly one in two Americans or 133 million people; that is over 40% of the population of the United States has a chronic medical condition of one kind or another. A lot of these individuals, including myself, may ‘look good’ from the outside yet are battling chronic medical conditions that inhibit their daily lives.

“…including myself, may look good from the outside…”

For me, my most prominent invisible disabilities occurred after surviving my stroke at the end of 2014. Since the recovery from my stroke; people often comment how ‘good’ I look and that it appears as though I have made a ‘full recovery.’ Although I know these are attempts from those around me to be positive comments and compliments; it prompts me to explain how the dysfunction of my autonomic nervous system has consequently caused dysfunctions in the regulation of my blood pressure, mobility, strength, breathing, and gestational abilities – just to name a few. All of these things, less my impaired mobility at times, are invisible to the naked eyes that surround me. Until they may witness for themselves an ‘episode,’ as I refer to them as. These episodes come on with no warning to me, may cause me to collapse if standing, walking, or even while sitting; causing me to become unresponsive. At times, my breathing is very shallow, my pulse barely able to be found, or not breathing at all. When I do become coherent again, I may be disoriented as I do not typically remember the events just prior to the episode. These episodes also cause an enormous amount of physical exhaustion that can last for days after.

In addition to constantly feeling as though I am at a battle with my own body; I also feel, at times, at a battle with medical personnel. My family also feels the affects not just because they tend to my care before, during, and after an episode but because they usually need to explain my complex medical history or the episode to emergency medical personnel if my pulse or breathing becomes dangerous as well as to my normal specialists as they try to treat the evasive conditions. I recently had a week long hospital stay in which I was under 24 hour constant video surveillance, heart monitors, and brain monitors while specialists tried to re-create episodes in an effort to try new medical approaches to help deter the number of episodes I endure.

Although they were successful in ‘triggering’ multiple episodes during the week; it was exhausting not just physically but also mentally on me. Other than experimenting with new prescriptions, dosage changes, and neurological rehabilitation; I am no further along than I was before. And each day that passed without positive advancements, the more discouraged and judged I felt by those around me. Our daughter stayed at the hospital with me all week, literally sleeping in a chair by my side, not only explaining each time I had an episode what had happened but also encouraging me and reassuring me how strong I was being through all of it. She, too, felt the need to defend me the first couple of days during the shift changes of medical personnel that didn’t understand or know why I was in the hospital. But she shouldn’t have had to feel this way. No one should have to feel this way – not patients or their families. Ultimately, in hind sight, I am comfortable saying that my complex medical conditions ARE in my head. Because, they are. My invisible disabilities, like many, stem from the dysfunction of my neurological system and the largest organ in our neurological system –  the brain…and where else is our brain but located in our heads.

From teaching others prior to my stroke about the power of the unconscious and conscious mind, I have chosen to consciously accept this with a plea to you on behalf of the over 40% of Americans living every day with a chronic medical condition: do not judge a book by its cover. Do not assume that if the outer binding looks in tact, that its pages within it are unweathered or in order. Be sensitive to how easily a book can be hurt, damaged, or torn. Be more conscious before you assume anything is just in someone’s head. Take a minute to ASK and to LISTEN with open ears and an open heart; just in case it really IS in their head.

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched—they must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller

I want to thank all of the medical personnel, including my specialists, that work effortlessly to fight for answers for their patients. That work consciously to make their patients and their families feel comfortable, confident, and strong in order to fight the daily battles to live with a disability. A disability that may be invisible to the world but that is all too visible to themselves and those closest to them. 

Fore more information about how you can be a part of a worldwide organization to support the education and awareness of invisible disabilities, visit: IDA – Invisible Disabilities Organization.